


Kiss (Don't Tell)

by Kat_Dakuu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Christmas fic, Light Angst, M/M, Mistletoe, Unrequited Love, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 00:13:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17396444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Dakuu/pseuds/Kat_Dakuu
Summary: Someone has planted mistletoe at the annual Christmas party and Eren is determined to figure out just who without getting caught under it. However, he would never guess that it was placed with purpose or just who wanted to catch him underneath it.





	Kiss (Don't Tell)

**Author's Note:**

> Although this comes a month too late for Christmas, I tried to get this out as close to as possible. I hope you still enjoy this sweet unrequited romance of Eren and Jean~

Eren stalked across the living room floor, fuzzy socked feet moving with purpose, the pom-poms at the sock edge's bouncing to the same rhythm. Although Jingle Bell Rock sounded over the constant buzz of conversation, he didn't smile. Considering the amount of people crammed into Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie's house, it was a wonder that Eren could move with such single minded purpose and not cause a collision. But maybe that was the fever bright look in his eyes and the furious angle of his eyebrows that left party goers unconsciously sliding out of his way.

"Reiner! You fuck!" he yelled as soon as he neared the taller host of their annual Christmas party. A party that housed no surprises, few unfamiliar faces, and absolutely no shenanigans that he wasn't a part of—until now. "Who planted mistletoe over the liquor cabinet?!"

A wild grin spread over Reiner's face, verging on outright laughter even though Eren could see Bertolt pursing his lips from across the room in clear disapproval. Though he couldn't be sure that meant Reiner was at fault for his current obstacle to getting drunk. Because without a doubt, the mistletoe was a trap. How could it not be when someone put it in the most compromising place in the entire house? Mistletoe in the foyer? Fine. The little alcove under the stairs where couples kissed every year anyway? Perfect. But the space where he planted himself for a good portion of the night with blind spots in every direction. He just knew the mistletoe had to be a joke aimed for drunk Eren blackmail. And hell if he was going to play into it. Sending Reiner his most fiery glare, he said as much while keeping his jaw firmly clamped shut.

Reiner just rolled his eyes though, the tail end of his laugh managing to escape. "Hey, don't sass me! I wasn't involved this year. If you want to kiss someone so bad though, I ain't stopping you. Freedom and beer and all that shit! Just don't expect me to keep it off insta!"

Annie's laugh broke through Eren's gaping as the petite blonde ghosted from behind Reiner, a bottle of vodka in her hand, already one third empty. Eren suspected she'd downed that third herself while still maintaining her usual ice-blue stare. "I got this drink without anyone kissing me. I don't know what you're _afraid_ of," Annie taunted. Lifting the vodka bottle, she took a deliberate swig before Reiner made a sour face and swiped it from her.

"That's because no one's stupid enough to try!" he huffed, taking his own massive drink of the clear liquid. "But the point is, you're being stupid, Eren. Just make yourself a drink and enjoy the party. You're less of a brat when you're drunk." Or at least, he was more entertaining when drunk, Reiner implied, that smirkish smile pulling on his lips again. Eren gnashed his teeth together and only just managed not to throw a punch at the other man's face. Only common sense and experience held his hand. Because yeah, he didn't feel like getting thrown over a wrestler's shoulder and pinned like a little girl's doll left over from the previous Christmas. He'd already been there once and never again. He didn't think his shoulder would _ever_ forget that pain.

"Whatever. Just make sure you tell everyone that I'm not falling for it this year! I and I alone am the prank master! I won't give it up to anyone! Ever!" Eren jabbed a finger in Reiner's direction, backing away so he could maintain the same wild glare from before, reveling in the staring eyes, validated by the whoops and cheers that sounded. It meant they listened. And yeah, no one messed with Eren Jaeger for one simple fact. Eren fought back.

However, for all the hype that he stalked away with, Eren reverted almost immediately to glowering at the liquor cabinet in silence. He'd been watching it meticulously, studying the patterns of the other guests and inspecting the throng of those in the living room for overly interested eyes. So far, he couldn't guess who planned this surely elaborate prank. Annie came and went from the cabinet with no trouble, mostly getting drinks for herself or some of the other girls. Bertolt played good little host, but even during his worst paranoid fits, Eren could never suspect that nervous guy. Keep hold of a secret and not sweat it out until he was up to his eyeballs in obviousness? Eren thought not.

He doubted Connie or Sasha would plan this either, despite the way they kept asking what Eren was doing just…staring at the drinks. Like, did he give up drinking or something? Eren had scoffed at the very notion, sending the pair off to cackle into the melon fruity shit they were sharing. He did suspect Ymir and kept a special eye on her, but oddly enough, she seemed to have zero interest in his distress. Or maybe it was just that she couldn't drag herself away from her girlfriend long enough to care.

And then there was Jean.

After thirty minutes of careful observation, Eren found himself observed back at least four times, though when their gazes locked for longer than five seconds, Jean would turn away, his mouth and hands saying he'd never lost the beat of the conversation. It was odd and infuriating and it put him on the top of Eren's suspect list. To be fair, he was never far down from the start. Eren just thought they might have grown past this in the last few years, having planned their pranks together for a while now, rather than creating a war. But yeah, Eren definitely suspected that guy since _no one_ could get as much joy out of his distress as Jean. If their friendship taught him anything, it was that.

Skirting around Jean and his circle of friends, Eren decided to seek out his own circle, not that it did him much good. Mikasa refused to be a part of his 'coward's game,' which was a totally unfair description and a lie, but Eren couldn't tell that to her face. Watching the party for mistletoe culprits tired him though and he deserved a drink. So what if Mikasa lifted her chin with that haughty stare normally reserved for others when he asked her to grab the vodka and sprite?

Even Armin told him flat out to deal with his own problems before he made a point of asking Jean about the medicinal qualities of tequila when taken in moderation. Jean had nodded his head with an absurd sageness as he sipped his drink, eyes watching Eren over the rim. If Ymir hadn't burst into psychotic laughter and threatened to hang out under the mistletoe for the entire evening, he might have accused Jean right then and there and ended the nonsense with a fist. Instead, he sulked away, pretty sure he saw Historia's camera phone pointed their way and his suspect list mixed up once again.

Eren kept his watch up for the next few hours, though he did sneak himself multiple drinks, always on the highest alert when under the mistletoe. Ymir really camped out in front of the liquor cabinet for a solid chunk of time just like she promised, but she spent most of it engaged in a disgusting make-out session with her girlfriend. Historia seemed to find the mistletoe as amusing as Ymir did and managed to snap a picture of Mikasa and Sasha when they bumped into each other and Sasha smacked a kiss to the other girl's lips before she could even consider the implications of where they stood. Then Sasha bounced away, champagne-bubble laughter trailing after her in that free way she always had. If Mikasa raised a hand to cover a blush or a look of disgust before spinning away, no one would ever know.

It was deep into the night when everyone floated on a cloud of holiday cheer and alcohol that Eren gave up on the mistletoe. No one would notice right? There was no way anyone would notice if he just…sat down under the liquor cabinet and poured Fireball down his throat with the furious conviction of a chased man. No, not a chased man. Just a slightly delirious one looking through a fisheye lens that blurred around the edges. Everything felt soft despite how intense it looked. Eren bumped against the liquor cabinet with a laugh. It felt so good right now that he wondered why he worried for so long. It wasn't like anyone would…

"Hey babe, do you know where you're standing?"

Eren whipped around to see Jean's face in all its smirking glory, leaning just six inches away from his own face. Red hot heat rushed straight into Eren's cheeks. He gaped, too surprised to clench his teeth or bite out a response, so that without a doubt, he looked like a flailing fish. Jean's grin widened even more. Then, with the carefullest motion, he lifted a finger to point at the mistletoe right above their heads. "Does this mean you owe me a kiss?"

"W-what the fuck are you planning, bastard!" Eren gasped, but he didn't back down even when Jean took another step closer so that their chests practically touched. They both grew so much lately and for the briefest time, Eren surpassed the other man in height, but at the very end of their growing period, Jean shot up two inches and took the lead. Now Eren glared up at him, lamenting those teenaged days with all the passion he could muster. Of all the people that could corner him under the mistletoe, it had to be Jean. Did that mean…? But the conceited look on Jean's face spoke nothing of deeper thoughts.

Jean shrugged one shoulder, never once dropping his superior look. "Hmmm, well, I'm not planning anything. Aren't you the one who's been weird all evening? I've been waiting forever and you finally dropped your guard, you know. So where's my kiss?" He tapped his lips like some kind of coy idiot, trying to look sweet and innocent when not a single bone in his body was either of those things. Eren knew him way too well to get fooled by this game. If anyone was going to look like a fool right now, then it was going to be Jean.

Giving the room a quick glance, he noticed they'd gained the attention of at least three people, but not the entire drunken cast of the living room. Most importantly, Historia had passed out on the sofa and Ymir currently rummaged in a linen closet for the softest blankets, just like her little cuddle bunny deserved. _Gross_. Before they could draw any more eyes, Eren grabbed Jean by his shirt collar and yanked him close, eyes burning with conviction.

"Your kiss is never gonna fuckin' happen, asshat!" The words hissed between his clenched teeth, he watched Jean's amber eyes go wide, looking comical in his otherwise sharp angled face. The conceited grin had vanished in the blink of an eye, leaving behind something far more real and surprisingly young looking. Eren didn't cool his temper in the slightest though, only pulling one of his hands away to jab it into Jean's chest. "If I had to kiss every person at this party, you would be the one person that I didn't! I will _never_ give you a mistletoe kiss, so how about you take your prank and shove it up your ass next time!" Snatching down the sprig of leaves, he threw it into the other man's arms and stalked away, never having drawn more than five curious stares. If that didn't count as a victory, then he didn't know what did.

Jean stared after him—he could still feel those stupid large eyes boring into his back. Eren almost thought he didn't plan to respond, but just after he stepped into the living room, a wild laugh sounded through the air, nowhere near as subtle as Eren's hissing words had been.

"You know what, I didn't want to kiss you anyway! I just thought it would be great to see your stupefied face and it was!" Jean yelled, that same laugh doubling in force, a maniac grin painted on his face, though it looked far larger, too large compared to his grin from before. Eren flipped him the third over his shoulder, already half way through the living room crowd. The last glance he stole revealed Jean still in the same spot, looking almost lost with the mistletoe clasped tight in white-knuckled hands, before he too spun away.

The end of the mistletoe meant Eren could throw himself into drinking though. So, as soon as he deemed it a reasonable cooling off period—about ten minutes—he stalked back over to the liquor cabinet and started pouring himself all the shots he'd been wanting since the evening began. No one tried to stop him, so by the time his ears rang with the slosh of liquid, he'd all but forgotten what happened under the sprig of mistletoe. He made himself the center of attention, jumping from conversation to conversation like some kind of speed dater. He became his usual party self, and all it took was a single hour without Jean or the mistletoe.

He only questioned it when he found himself leaned against a wall in the back, taking a much needed break. The air felt sticky hot. He looked down at his drink, all the condensation clinging to the plastic cup like raindrops or perhaps sweat. If he poured it over his head, would that cool this heat that crawled under his skin?

"Hey, wasn't there mistletoe over there earlier? Where did it go?" The question jerked Eren out of his reverie so that he spun, spotting a few others relaxed against the wall only a few feet away from him. They were too far to really consider next to him, but still he couldn't help but turn his body like he was a part of the conversation in the first place. With a start, Eren realized one of the people was Marco, who now turned his gaze toward the liquor cabinet, his brow faintly furrowed.

"I wonder. Did he take it down…?" He leaned close to the guy next to him and they talked for a little longer before the others in the group wandered away, leaving Marco alone. The guy never partied much from the start, so he'd probably occupied the wall for most of the night. Eren found himself sliding closer, drawing Marco's eye with a surprised look. "Oh, Eren! I didn't realize you were over here too. Are you enjoying the party?" Marco offered that stupid bright grin of his that wrapped people around his finger, the hint of alcohol in both their systems only making it worse.

Eren shrugged, pulling at the messy strands of his dark hair before he huffed out a response. "Actually, nothing has gone like I expected, but that's not really what I want to talk about right now. What you said earlier…it sounds like you know who put up the mistletoe? I've been dying to know that since forever so I can punch them in the face!"

"H-huh? Wait! It's not good to punch people, Eren! You don't really mean that do you?" Marco gasped even though Eren felt sure his face said exactly that. He punched his way through most of his problems. It was a well known fact. Marco sighed, accepting that he couldn't calm Eren's passion without first answering his question. "But yeah, I know who put up the mistletoe. I actually thought you knew about it but he was rather weird when he said he wanted to hang it over the cabinet in the first place." Marco sighed again, exasperation in his tone.

"Uh…no? I didn't know anything about it. Why would I?" He snorted. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one who got targeted!" Or maybe he was just conceited. It wasn't like anyone managed to stage something and get a video. Well, someone did _try_. Eren's brow furrowed as he thought about Jean, still not sure what sort of game the other man played.

Marco laughed but shook his head gentle enough to quell the rising anxieties in Eren's mind. "That's probably not the case. Isn't Jean usually your partner in crime these days? After the debacle at Halloween, I thought you swore off targeting each other for the group's better good. That prank war got really out of hand. I-"

"Jean!?" Eren didn't let Marco finish, his voice already rising an octave higher. "It _was_ him. Fucking bastard! I'm seriously going to rip him a new one this time!" If he got video and posted it, Jean was going to regret it with every breath he breathed in the new year. Eren would make sure of that. He didn't like being played with and this was definitely crossing the line. Only an idiot like Jean would use his feelings against him.

Recoiling, Marco actually took a step back, chocolate eyes wide in surprise and maybe a little fear. It made Eren wonder just what sort of passion blazed in his eyes. However, Marco steeled his face in response and grabbed Eren's arm before he could spin away, murder in his mind. "Wait! I don't know what you're thinking or if he did something, but Jean was really weird about the mistletoe when we were helping set up for the party. I thought for sure he must have been scheming some kind of kiss and tell or a plea for attention, but despite hanging it, he hasn't made a single move all night. Even when Mikasa stood under the mistletoe, he didn't so much as leer at her. He…he said he wanted to hang it no matter what though and he said it had to be there because someone would surely want a drink? But even though I'm his best friend, I don't get it at all. Whatever he did though, I know this was important and he didn't mean any harm."

Eren froze, Marco's hand still clenched around his arm. Important? There was no way Jean meant anything by planting the mistletoe. He narrowed his eyes, dragging in a sharp breath to yell as much, but a second later, his breath stilled in his lungs. "Wait, he didn't even go after Mikasa?" He'd been so caught up in his own irritation, that he didn't think over everything that Marco said and what it might mean.

Marco frowned back, clearly not reaching the same revelation that Eren had come to. "Uh yeah? That's what I said. Why are you so concerned about this, anyway?" Ruffling a hand through his dark hair, he shook his head, looking over the room in one full sweep. Whatever he looked for, he didn't seem to find though because his eyes returned to Eren's a second later. "Could it be you know something about Jean that I don't…?"

It was a strange thought considering those two had been best friends since before the formation of their current group. Eren never heard the whole story, but it seemed like those two worked in some kind of tandem pair all throughout high school and most of college too. Eren wasn't sure when they started to drift apart, but the days where Jean and Marco stayed at each other's hip passed long ago and he didn't even notice it happen. When _did_ he become the sort of person who knew about and did things with Jean that even Marco couldn't guess at?

"It's nothing. I'll tell you if what I'm thinking turns out right. Figure I should just ask his dumb face what he meant by it and if I should get my hopes up. Ah, but I'll probably still punch him in the face."

"Eren!"

Grinning, he patted Marco on the arm. "Don't worry about it. And thanks for the info. I'll see you around later?" Eren chuckled under his breath, low and soft in a way totally unlike his usual self. It gained a strange look from Marco, but the other boy didn't get a chance to question it before Eren flashed another smile and slipped away, one hand thrown over his shoulder in a wave. It was strange. It was all definitely strange, but it got Eren thinking, so that he wandered through the crowds, not sure if he should think what he was already thinking, or if he should just punch Jean like he said. First things first though, he needed to find Jean. Nothing could happen without confrontation, so that, was exactly what he set about doing.

A quick look over the living room, kitchen, and under the stairs lead Eren to the conclusion that Marco must have made earlier. Wherever Jean disappeared off to, it wasn't with the main crowd. It left him a few options, the worst being that Jean outright left, but Eren suspected that wasn't the case. It was strange though. If Eren had to look out of the way like this, didn't that mean that Jean was running away. From a prank? From a joke? _Unless it wasn't._ It was that thought that left him slipping out the back door and into the cold December night.

The mistletoe lay abandoned by the door so Eren knew he guessed right, even if he needed to pull his jacket tighter around his shoulders to ward off the chill. It felt like fucking thirty degrees out here. If Jean planned to wallow in his own melodrama, couldn't have have done it in a closet or the bedroom upstairs? Hell, even his swanky sports car would be miles above this, cold leather seats and all.

"Jean?" The sound of his voice echoed across the concrete before diffusing into the grass. He almost missed the answering grunt because of it, but the cold made the air sharp and sounds carry. Squinting, Eren found the curled over form of Jean to the far right, knees pulled to his chest and chin resting on top. He hadn't lifted his head in response, though Eren knew the other boy was the source of the grunt. After all, besides the moon and the stars, no one else braved the cold night air.

Eren padded across the expanse of Reiner's extended porch and the grill pushed to the side, feeling as if he approached a lamb. Or maybe just an abandoned doll because Jean seemed to have no intention of taking flight. "How long have you been sitting out here?" Eren finally huffed when it seemed like Jean didn't plan on responding to him. At the very least though, he wanted confirmation that the other boy hadn't just passed out in the cold.

"…Dunno," Jean murmured into his arms, still not meeting Eren's eyes. It was an oddly subdued response compared to his usual behavior. Eren really didn't know how to marry it with the wild grin from an hour ago, or however long they'd been cooling their heels. Jean apparently more than he. Eren had to bite back a snort in response as he kicked a rock from the patio and plopped down in its place.

"You're stupid. You're really fucking stupid, Jean. You know that?" Eren groaned as he stretched his legs out, toes on the slightly damp grass. It felt like it rained some time ago, or maybe the sprinklers just ran, but it only made the chill more obvious as he reveled in it. "Marco said you're the one who planted the mistletoe. So from the start, it was a trap to catch me and just me?"

Jean hummed, the sound not quite an answer, but Eren took it as an affirmation anyway. "Why?"

This time he waited, eyes boring into Jean, because hums and silence wouldn't get them anywhere. And yet, that seemed like all Jean wanted to give him. "I-it was just a prank. Why are you being so nosey about this. Didn't you come out here to rub your anger in my face or something?" Jean glanced over at him, eyes locking for a second before Jean dragged his gaze away again. Every muscle in his body tensed, but he didn't bury his face against his knees again. Instead, he stared wide-eyed at his arms as if they belonged to someone else entirely. "I'd punch you if you did that to me."

And that was it, the edge of dishonesty Eren waited for. His opening to push against, but it came somewhere in the conversation he didn't expect. Jean wouldn't punch him if Eren stole a kiss. He wouldn't be angry. He _wanted_ it. Eyes going wide, Eren sucked in a breath. "You're lying."

Jean's gaze snapped back to him, sharp amber eyes alive with surprise. "What? How the hell is that a lie?"

"I'm not stupid, Jean!" he huffed back, each word tumbling out with more force. "We've known each other most of our lives and I'd like to think we're at least friends by this point. You suck at lying! You're not fucking angry with me and you've been lying for the past three years too. How about you come out and just say what you've been holding back! Why Jean? Why try to kiss me now?!"

Reeling back, Jean looked like he might bolt across the yard. The moment passed though, leaving him frozen against the cold concrete, his eyes impossibly wide. "I w-wanted to say it. I really did. I thought you would come to hate me though…" He turned his gaze away, once again burying his face against his knees. But even so, he pushed out the words Eren asked for, like each one of them might be the word that pushed him into tears. "I like you, Eren. For a long time…I've really liked you. I was going to say it today, but…"

But Eren fucked that up. He breathed in, calming the storm growing inside of his heart. Then, he reached out to pull Jean against his side, head resting on his shoulder. "I know."

Jean jolted against him in surprise. "What do you mean? Don't tell me you…?"

Laughing through his nerves, Eren ran a hand through his hair, eyes not quite meeting Jean's that looked on the verge between shocked and murderous. Still, despite his muscles quivering with tension, he didn't pull away. Eren soaked that up so he could go on with his own confession.

"I know that you like me." Jean finally did jerk away and Eren wasn't quick enough to pull him back. Jean tumbled into the grass, backwards on his hands, those eyes flashing with an unreadable passion. Eren crossed his legs as he turned to face the other man, keeping his own expression stern, because at the very least, he needed to finish speaking before the punches came flying. "Like I said, I'm not stupid. I've known since that weekend after our finals when we went to that lake with Con and Sash and he pushed me in the water. You were standing at the end of the dock just staring at me with these eyes, like you lost all ability to breathe. And when you pulled me out, I just knew, the second our hands clasped. Sorry, Jean, but the truth is, I feel the same way," he breathed, the last words nothing more than whispers in the cold air.

"You knew?! You fucking knew and you _felt the same_? Ho…how could you not say anything?! You pushed me away!"

"…Sorry."

"I can't believe you, Eren!" Jean yelped. He flopped back onto the grass, fisting his hands through his hair. The anger hadn't dissipated from his eyes, but he looked more frustrated now, as well as hurt, and baffled. _Eren knew._ Then what the hell was that under the mistletoe? Jean threw a hand over his eyes, unable to meet Eren's unblinking gaze any longer. "Do you know how hard it was for me to even ask for a kiss…?"

Sighing, Eren shook his head slowly. This wasn't how he wanted the truth to come out. But then, in the back of his mind, he always knew it would come out like this. Jean would never pull him aside on a sunny sidewalk and confess his love. He'd had three years to do that. Eren had begun to think he would never say it, so now that it was out in the open, he couldn't think of the right words to say back. Good words maybe, like _'I've longed for this.'_ Or at least an _'I'm glad.'_ Instead, the same phrase kept coming out.

"I'm sorry." Eren bit his lip, finally breaking the eye contact that he'd been forcing on Jean. "I know I could have just said something and confessed first, but it wouldn't have worked. I was waiting for you all this time ya know?" Warm blood spilt from his abused lip, but he didn't bother to wipe it away, instead feeling it dribble down his lip and onto his chin. The pain kept him grounded and his words steady. "Three years ago, it would never have worked."

Although Jean dragged in a shaky breath, he didn't remove his arm or reply immediately. He just lay there, his body pulsing with too much energy. Conversely, Eren felt an abnormal stillness wash over him. He didn't want to push, although he wanted nothing more than to pull Jean against his side again so he could make this right. Because right now, he felt like he did something terrible even if it came from his own conscious decision. Long ago, he decided he wouldn't be the first to say he liked Jean.

"…Does that mean you still don't think we'll work, even if we both like each other? I don't get it Eren. Making me confess like this just so you can say you'd rather kiss _anyone_ else!" He bit out, so bitter and harsh that Eren almost recoiled. He resisted though and instead scooted closer, right to the edge of the grass, clenching his teeth together so tight that his entire body vibrated with it.

"That's not what I meant! Jean!" He watched the other boy flinch, but still not move away. Did he really intend to stay there in the cold, wet grass without ever once trying to face Eren? It left his blood bubbling just under the surface and his body snapping up to stand. Whatever stillness had come over him before, he couldn't even try to reach for it now. Jean's bitterness and that vulnerable line of his body sapped it all away. "That's because I didn't know the circumstances! I don't want to kiss someone who doesn't mean it!"

Jean choked on his breath as he finally dropped his arm enough to watch Eren take three long strides toward him. "W-what…?" Before he could struggle off his back though, Eren dropped down, straddling his hips with both hands planted by his head. " _Ere!_ "

With a soft touch, Eren captured Jean's hand, tangling their fingers together. Jean had his teeth in his lip again, as if that might erase the choked sound he just made. It didn't, but it made it hard for Eren to look anywhere but at the other man's mouth. He wanted to lean down further, taste the reddened skin, but he just stared into Jean's eyes instead, trying to hold that elusive gaze with all the seriousness that he felt inside.

"Look at me, Jean. What I meant was we weren't ready when you started to like me. You needed to be ready to say it to me, to actually want a relationship. Do you really think if I asked you out last year or the year before, that you would have said yes? Neither of us were really sure what we felt. You were still clinging to a hope that Mikasa might one day look at you and I needed to figure out how to not hate you anymore. Wasn't it the same for you?" Eren pleaded, wanting so badly to not have messed this up for nothing. He'd been right hadn't he? No, of course he had. He needed to hold tight to that decision, even if Jean looked like he wanted to cry right now.

Squeezing Eren's hand, Jean breathed a few times before he managed a response. "I don't hate you Eren. I don't know how to ever go back to that," he whispered, their faces too close together, but not close enough for a kiss. However, the curl of his breath showed in the air, soft and somehow poignant looking under the stars. It made him want the mistletoe back so they could try again, but Eren might pull away. He couldn't live through that a second time.

"Yeah," Eren breathed out. He closed a little of the distance between them, but once again froze. He had Jean pinned beneath him, but the other man could escape any time he wanted. He had all of the control, but he exerted none of it. "Me either. I think I love you. I love you so much I was willing to wait. So if…" He sucked in a breath, trying to keep his words steady, trying not to get distracted by the white breaths puffing between them faster and faster, like they couldn't contain anything inside them anymore. "If this isn't just because of mistletoe or misguided lust, you can kiss me all you want."

Jean's breath went still, his eyes wide. For a second, they just stared at each other before Jean rolled, pressing Eren beneath their now flush chests. "It's not just because of the mistletoe…I love you Eren." Before he could let himself hesitate, he fisted a hand in Eren's hair and crashed their lips together. Awkward and too aggressive, they clashed for a second before Eren pressed soft fingers to his cheek, turning their heads so that the kiss deepened, sweetened under his careful ministrations. Jean was only too happy to comply.

In the cold December air, wet grass soaking the backs of their shirts, they kissed until neither of them could feel the cold any longer. They kissed until their hands couldn't help but wander along backs and shoulders, collar bones and ears. Until even the white puffs of their breaths seemed natural, as if they belonged to the night.

When Jean finally did pull away, his cheeks and neck wore a blush that matched the one reddening Eren's ears. Both out of breath, they stared at each other, just taking in the expressions on the other's face. After another second, a grin broke out on Jean's, as arrogant as the one he wore earlier that night, but softer, his hazel eyes honest in a way they rarely were.

"Does this mean that you'll be my boyfriend?"

Eren burst out laughing, his head thrown back against the grass, eyes squeezed shut to hold back tears. "Idiot! You think after all of that, I would shove you back on your ass and leave?! I kissed you back didn't I?"

A pout formed on Jean's face as quick as the smirk had. "Eren…" Of course they both kissed like all the stars in the sky were falling around them, but it didn't hurt to cover his bases did it?

Reaching up again, Eren brushed the dampened strands of Jean's hair behind his ear, letting his touch linger. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend. We've got a lot of time to make up for, don't we? Three years of unrequited love…"

Jean breathed out the second Eren's fingers touched him, leaving his muscles relaxed in a way that shouldn't have been possible from just a touch. And yet, Eren always had that kind of power over him, whether sweet or angry. He just melted against the other man's will.

"Yeah," he whispered back, rolling onto his back and tangling their fingers once again. "Seems like it." And the stars winked as if they too agreed. "Seems like it…"


End file.
